Author: LawsonK

Coping with Holiday Stress

Preparing for and celebrating the holidays can come with increased demands on our time and activity. We feel stressed when we cannot meet the demand. One of the common ways that coping may fall short has to do with expectations. Another has to do with the kinds of strategies we use to cope when under stress. When expectations are not realistic, stress is often the result.

When expectations are too high, when they are not met or when things happen that we cannot control (for example, we cannot control how well others get along with each other), stress is the likely result. We may have a picture in our minds of what a holiday is supposed to be like and then go about trying to make it so. The good news is that it is possible to manage stress well.

Review your expectations for the holidays. Whose expectations, are they? Are they yours or someone else’s? Finally, are your expectations based on what is possible or only on what you hope will happen but never have? The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.

Pace yourself. Take on what you can manage. Spending more than you can afford, baking more than you think you have time for, or inviting more people to a family dinner than you think you can accommodate is likely to lead to stress and frustration. Do the best you can within your means and limits.

Review your coping strategies. You may well feel stressed at times during a special event. Plan how you will cope if that happens. Try to choose coping strategies that leave you feeling good in the short term and the long term. Time out for physical or relaxation exercises, a walk, or hobbies can be great ways of coping with stress and are good lifestyle practices in general.

Focus on what really matters. People whose holiday experiences focus on relationships and activities with others report more happiness than those for whom gift-giving is a big focus]. Think about what is more important–the perfect purchase, a turkey cooked on time or enjoying an activity with friends and family.

If despite your best efforts, you feel overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety or sadness, consider professional help. When stress leads to distress like anxiety or depression that are persistent and get in the way of accomplishing your usual activities, it can be a good idea to contact a general health care provider or one who specializes in mental health problems.

Articles

CAMH – Holiday Stress

Reducung Holiday Stress – Alberta Health

Resources – Telus Health

Taking Care of Your Finances

A great deal of research demonstrates the effects of money problems on physical and mental health. If you are grappling with debt, you are more likely to suffer from insomnia, high blood pressure, back pain, headaches, stomach problems, and even heart attacks and strokes.

By taking care of your money, you are indirectly taking care of your health. It might seem overwhelming at first, but with perseverance, patience, and some support, you can take control of finances—and by extension, your physical and mental health.  The process begins with a few small steps—each of which can make a very big difference.

Get a clear picture.

The first step is to face reality of what you owe. Do not waste time berating yourself; you cannot go back in time and fix things, but you can learn and move forward in a more positive way.

Track your spending.

Now that you know what you owe, you need to know exactly where your money is going. Financial counsellors usually ask their clients to keep records of what they spend in a week or a month. Every cent should be recorded, whether it is cash, a credit card, or debit card.

Getting started.

Now it is time to make a budget and a debt repayment plan. Look for ways to cut your spending (i.e., making coffee at home instead of buying it at a cafe; choosing generic over name brand products).

Get professional financial help.

Contact your financial institution and ask to speak with a personal banker or a financial advisor who will be able to help you create a realistic debt repayment plan, consolidate loans, and begin saving for the future. The Employee Assistance Program (EAP) may also be a source of guidance and provide some useful financial resources.

Get support.

Confide in close friends, family members, or a financial advisor. They will encourage you to stick with your plan and provide support when you need it. Although financial problems often generate feelings of shame or embarrassment, remember that many people find themselves in this situation at one time or another.

Finally, think where you want to be in 10 or 20 years. Does that future include a house? Travel? Children? Your own business? Retirement? The answer to this question will help shape your financial goals—and you can make them happen by starting today. Keep reminding yourself that the money you are paying to creditors could be going toward saving for your future—and what you want out of life.

Article – Understanding your Money Mindset

Resources – Money Mentors

World Mental Health Day – October 10th

Mental health suffers from a major image problem. One in every four people experience mental health issues at some point in their lives -yet, according to the World Health Organization (WHO), more than 40 percent of countries worldwide have no mental health policy. Across the board, it seems we struggle to talk about it respectfully and responsibly.

Poor mental health can affect us at work. It is associated with:

• Decreased productivity
• Mood irritability
• Increased interpersonal conflict
• Increased absenteeism, and short-term and long-term disability

Creating a safe and healthy workplace environment is essential. Talking about our challenges can be difficult due to the stigma associated with opening upabout our mental health. What is stigma?

Stigma is when someone views you in a negative way because you have a distinguishing characteristic or personal trait that’s thought to be or is a disadvantage (a negative stereotype). Unfortunately, negative attitudes and beliefs toward people who have a mental health condition are common. (www.mayoclinic.org)

Here’s how we can reduce stigma in the workplace:

Ask and listen. If you know someone who might be struggling with a mental health problem, ask questions and listen. If that person is open to help, you can:

• Help set up an appointment with a doctor
• Provide information about Life Works, Bethany’s EAP Provider
• Advise that a manager is spoken to

Don’t judge.Mental illness is just that –an illness that needs treatment. Read, listen and learn about mental health.

Reach out to a support network. Recovery from any illness requires a support network that includes medical professionals, family, friends and employers. Confiding in a close family member or friend, talking to a therapist or joining a support group can be helpful.

Encourage co-workers to seek out the support of others. Human connection is vital to both our mental and physical wellbeing, yet illness often isolates us. Encouraging those to spend time with family and friends or seek social connections.

ADDITIONAL LINKS AND RESOURCES

TELUS Health formerly Life Works

AccessMentalHealth–AHS 

Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) 

The DistressCentre – 403-266-HELP (4357)

Resolving Personal Conflict

Conflict is often the result of unmet needs. Some examples of needs are recognition, fairness, understanding, security, predictability, and balance. Try to understand your needs in a way that’s not just wishing someone else to change what they’re doing. Sometimes, conflict seems overwhelming.

We may wonder why we can’t resolve issues easily and feel frustrated and hurt. Sometimes, we may believe the conflict is someone else’s fault entirely and don’t see our part in it. At other times, we may think it’s all our fault. It may be hard to accept, but your needs and the needs of the person you’re in conflict with are both important. Resolution happens when everyone’s needs are met.

Get a different perspective

You may be going through some challenges unrelated to the conflict, which reduce your ability to respond effectively. When you step back, you may be able to see that the issue itself isn’t insurmountable. But, because of everything else going on, you may have a lower tolerance.

Get a second opinion

Discuss the facts of the conflict with a trusted person who can help you check your perception.

Manage your emotions

Often, strong emotions make resolving conflict a challenge. Sometimes, it’s difficult to manage our emotional reactions and see what can be changed for the situation to get better. A trained counsellor can help us learn to manage our emotional reactions more effectively.

Don’t blame or shame others

When we accuse someone else or point out their flaws, their natural reaction may be to justify, defend, counterattack, or withdraw. It’s hard to be open to new ideas and resolve conflict when we think we’re under attack.

Don’t see yourself as a victim

If we believe we’re under attack, our natural reaction may be to justify, defend, counterattack, or withdraw. We may also look for evidence that everyone’s against us and have difficulty seeing the positives.

Think about underlying issues

If you have a conflict with someone, it’s unlikely you’re their biggest concern. Consider what might be behind the other person’s behaviours.

Talk it out

Once you understand your own needs, sit down in private with the other person and seek to understand their needs. Find out what’s necessary for you both to resolve the on-going issues. Focus only on the solution (what changes can be made), even if the other person goes back to the problem.

Get commitment instead of compliance

When everyone involved is part of creating the solution and walking away with their dignity intact, long-term success is much more likely. When someone is threatened, forced into action, or can’t see the benefit of the change, they may not feel as committed to the resolution.

Let it go

Whether the resolution is exactly what you hoped for or just good enough, don’t let it continue to affect your well-being. If you need help letting go of negative or frustrating thoughts, reach out to someone who can help, like a trusted friend or counsellor. Holding on to these thoughts can be damaging to your mental and physical well-being.